Just One of Those Days

You know the one.

The one where you wake up at three in the morning and can’t get back to sleep, so you get up to take the trash to the curb. Then you call your husband to see if he’s having a better day, only to hear that no, he’s not.

You get off the phone and finally fall back asleep around six. An hour later your husband calls you three times to let you know he’s on his way home and to remind you people are coming to check on the A/C again. “They’ll be here between eight and noon, so you need to be up now to wait a possible five hours, honey.” So you do what any exhausted individual would do, you fall back asleep and wake up to find out they’re here.

You lie in bed not wanting to hear the bad news, but you get up anyway and learn that the A/C is leaking freon and it’s half gone. You then apologize to the cooling Gods for any wrongs you’ve done, and ask them politely to stop torturing you with an apparently phantom leak in your unit.

After they leave, you get a grapefruit and luckily it doesn’t splash into your eye. However; it does explode onto your glasses, and when you try to clean it, you just spread grapefruit blood all over the lenses. So you go to the sink and run water over your glasses, and finally, you can see again. But now to get the sticky juice off your hands, you turn on the hot water, but all that’s coming out is cold. You yell incoherent, and vulgar things at the faucet, and wonder if maybe the bathtub is leaking.

So you check the bathroom, and instead of seeing the telltale signs of water you had hoped was the problem since it’s a much easier fix, you find ants. So you wake your husband up and ask him to spray the tub down and tell him that you think the water heater is out again. He goes into the kitchen and turns the water on, and you stick your hand under the water only to realize you had turned the wrong knob earlier and now you feel like an idiot.

Next thing you know your house smells like old person candy because the bug spray you got is “eco and pet-friendly.” Now you’re sure that that just means it’s peppermint and licorice. It’s giving you a headache, so you open some windows, one of which sticks and after you’ve gotten it up your side cramps.

By this point you need someone to tell you everything is going to be okay, and you know that’s true. But you still want to wallow in self-pity, so you go lay in bed a little longer to finish up that book you’ve been reading. It’s your husband’s turn for the pity, though, because he can’t get to sleep because whatever cold is going around here just won’t leave him alone. You put aside your problems because that’s just the kind of person you are, oh and you love him or something.

Once he’s finally asleep, you can’t take the smell, so you decide to do your run now instead of waiting for the evening. You put on an entire bottle of sunscreen because a burn on top of everything would just make everything so much better.

On this run, you exhaust yourself, and the wind does wonders to your hair. But you get home in one piece, and everything just might be okay. So you grab something to eat only to notice after a bite that it’s full of raisins which you loath. As you throw it into the trash, you curse it and the person who ever had the evil idea to create such a vile food. But, you need to eat, so you grab a banana, only to discover the huge bruise on the back of it, you eat it anyway because it’s food and not an abomination like raisins.

Now it’s time to clean up because a clean start is as good as a fresh start. However, you’re out of your face wash, but it’s okay because you bought some more yesterday, it’s not the one you usually use, but it’ll do. You run around the house trying to find it, but you can’t for the life of you remember where you put it, and by this point, you’re wasting valuable hot water. So screw it, you can use regular soap.

After all, this is over, you decide to sit down and write your blog, but you don’t know what to write, so just write about your day. And then you hear the sweetest little “meow,” and you turn your chair to let the cat up on your lap. When she’s up there, she just looks at you with the cutest face you’ve ever seen, it seems to say, “You’re awesome, Momma.” And then she rubs her head all over your computer, and you feel better.

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